I was going to show off my mad present wrapping skillz and go into my gift-giving ploy of wrapping things so nicely that the person won’t want to open it and therefore overlook the fact that I’ve given them the worst gift ever.
BUT (even though I am really good at wrapping presents) that’s not very good advice.
So instead I think I will just offer my services as a holiday card maker.
FORGET to send a card? Not able to sit your family down to take a decent picture? Not have a detailed life-story card worthy year? Hate the postal service?
Do not worry! I’ve got you covered.
With my expert tuxpaint skills, I will depict your family as the sketchy cartoony folks you really are.
Leave it mysteriously blank or add any catch phrase you’d like underneath or pick from any of these
awful not funny pun filled one liners lovely heartfelt options:
- “Haven’t seen us in a while? It’s because we don’t actually care about you that much. HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
- “Last year was pretty sketch!”
- “Mom and Dad quit their jobs and became artists. Send money.” (On this one you can coyly sign your name to my artwork.)
- “2-D or not 2-D?”
Simply print them out in bulk (no color needed), fold it up and send them out.
Or if that is still too much I’ll send you the file and you can post it on your Facebook and tag everyone you know in it.
A job well done.