Forget zombies, prepare for self destruction

Lately everyone seems to be really worried about Zombies.

According to this test, my cousin could last a little while.

Don’t get me wrong, I like zombie preparedness.  I think it is important to plan for any disaster, including fending off the brain-crazed living-dead.  However, in my opinion, a person is more likely to injure themselves than be attacked by an infected swarm of humans.

Therefore after you master the basics of zombie protection, I’d suggest focusing on  something worse: accidentally severing, breaking, or hindering the movements of limbs, specifically your dominate hand.

I’m not too worried about not having any legs, there are wheelchairs and crutches to get around that.  Without my left hand I would not be able to draw, take notes in class or play Mario Galaxy on the Wii.

This is why I set aside time each week to train my right hand, to write, answer phones, use scissors, and other menial tasks. (If, like my mother, you cannot even hold a fork with your non-dominate hand, you might want to be a little worried.)

If I lose both arms I guess I’ll have to learn how to write with my mouth.  But it is impossible to prepare for that because my balance would be completely different as an armless amputee. I guess this is all just a really good reason to go buy some new batteries for my voice recorder and practice hitting the record button with my nose.

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