Connery, it was fun

As much as I love talking to my giant poster of Sean Connery, I’m hella (yeah, I said it) excited for all of my Portland friends to be back in town/on winter break.

So, for those who haven’t seen me in a while, here’s an update so we don’t have to dilly-dally on useless small talk:

1. I haven’t converted to some weird pirate-jesus worshipping religious cult involving dressing as Prince and dancing the frug. (To be honest they would not let me in.)

This is not a shrine located in my dorm room.

2. Speaking of dancing, I still do it, just as poorly and with perhaps more confidence and gusto than ever.

3. Despite all the Baby Talk magazines, I have not gotten preggo and am proud to say my uterus is parasite free.

4. Mark my words I will be keeping them covered but my legs are really hairy right now.  I’m sorry if you accidentally catch a glimpse.  My boyfriend is 3226.03 miles away and I am lazy.

5. Finally, don’t get your hopes up, I left Sesapus back in Savannah. (I did this mostly so I wouldn’t lose him on the way home.  Freshman year I almost forgot him three times.  On the way to the shuttle, getting on the shuttle AND when my flight arrived in Portland, “um excuse me miss, is this your purple…thing.” Don’t worry, He’s probably partying like it’s 1999.)

So Sean, although I’ve truly enjoyed our witty back and forth as you point the barrel of your gun at me, I’m off to bigger, better, and less 2-D things.

In your own words, “suck it TREBEK.” (Said with much love.)

Here's us laughing gayly together last winter break. <3

Babytalk why do you think I’m pregnant?

I don’t know how or why but BabyTalk keeps sending me their magazine.

I have never been pregnant.  I have never adopted a baby from a 3rd world country. I don’t really even like babies that much at all.

 

Clearly, I am not their ideal reader.

 

But, I think I know how this all started. One fateful day I was stupid enough to click on a facebook ad.  It was one for free MAC cosmetics and I got suckered into giving them some of my information.

When I realized I had to sell my soul to the devil to get said “free,” make-up I backed out and forgot about the entire ordeal.

NOT EVEN 9 months later, my mom calls to tell me that some very nice people from Babytalk magazine had phoned for me and asked when my due date was.  Apparently they were very distraught when my mother told them that I did not live there and hopefully was not preggers.

So she gave them my school address.

That was a year ago.

My school address has changed and still the Babytalk magazine comes.  At least this time there were some cute babies in costumes:

 

Even though they are basically human larva, they do look pretty cute.

 

 

Okay. Stop looking at babies and get some work done.